You Are Not Alone

Quack, quack, quack, quack!  This is what I hear as I sit here contemplating what to post today.  So much going on in the last week or so.  The ducks have grown into their 'quack' now, which I find a lot more pleasant than the loud peeping they did before.  The chicks are almost chickens now, with the exception of Brownie who is just small still.  I didn't mention this in my last post, but I believe Brownie was younger than the others when we got her, and she is the one who has not grown much yet.  She still needs lots of warmth.   We have taken to putting the chickens out with the ducks every day and as I mentioned they all stick together.  What I didn't tell you is how they all huddle around Brownie when she needs warmth.  They protect her, and watch after her.  They have since the beginning.  It's like they instinctively know she needs warmth, and they surround her.  

This is how they sleep.  Surrounding Brownie.

Last year I started Art Journaling.  I found it very healing to do this daily.  It also served as a proving ground for new techniques.  These last few months I have not had the inclination to art journal either.  So I carried it around with me daily, and hoped the muse would visit once again.  But nothing.  Over the last couple of weeks; possibly because I once again feel in need of comfort and healing; I have started art journaling again daily.  Sometimes more than once a day.  And with all the things going on in my head lately- sometimes even in the middle of the night.  I still write in my traditional journal.  I actually do a lot of writing as I find that a source of healing as well, but when I distill my days, or my thoughts, my state of mind into a picture, a thing of beauty that I can look back on and remember, it is very satisfying.  And honestly beauty, color, and sparkles make me happy.  

It's hard to see the sparkles here, but they are there.
Bad lighting, sorry.

My kids tease me, as I am very much like my Gramsy in that I love anything sparkly or cute.  "Oooh Shiny" they often say as I am distracted from whatever task by something.  It's their way of reminding me to focus.  I struggle with that.  I would much rather be in a dreamland than focus on the facts, which is interesting since I have always thought myself a realist, and I love the truth.  Sometimes I find things just too frightening, or too big to contemplate  in the moment, so I am easily distracted.  Especially by shiny things.  Just like my Gramsy.  My sister and I once cleaned her dresser for her.  There must have been hundreds of teeny little boxes of jewelry and little sparkly things.  Bought and placed neatly in her drawer, or jewelry box, but probably never worn.  

This is where my head has been.   I have come out of solitary, and am finding ways to focus on what I need to  focus on to find some peace.  It is not an easy thing.  The truth sometimes is not.  But I know it's what I need and that it will get easier.  Remembering to create something beautiful everyday, even if it's just beautiful to me, helps.  Words  help.  Another post on that later.  Here are some images from my art journal lately. 

 I have to keep reminding myself that I am not alone.  My many peeps remind me of that visually, and daily.  This is my reminder to you.  You are not alone. 

My peeps