It's been a very busy couple of weeks. I had my first High School graduation to plan, and as a homeschooler it's not as easy as that sounds. There are many things to tend to besides the party afterwards, the gift, and the guests. There are photos, programs, music, a slideshow, a display table, cap and gown and a boy scout uniform to find and make sure is ironed so he can lead the flag ceremony at the beginning. Not to mention the other million and a half things, grad night, events, and all those little details.
Now that it's all done I'm happy. Happy to have graduated one. Happy to have been able to share this with family and friends. Happy that he's happy.I wish being happy came easily to me. As you can tell from my art it does not. I am trying to change that. There really is so much beauty and grace in the world if I look for it.
This is what I must remind myself constantly.
I went through a period last year where I realized that I must retrain my eye to see light. As with Art, art is a process of training oneself to see- to really see things. I think there is beauty in everything and everyone if one looks deep enough. It is my hope that people have that kind of grace for me. That they look deep enough, beyond the external stuff, the tattoos, the funny clothes messy hair and pack of children I travel with to really see me.
One of our guests commented on the love he felt. So much love in that room. He was impressed. Did I feel it? No. I was horribly stressed and hoping everything was ok. One guest gave us his interpretation of our sons biography which was, well let's just say non-traditional, as a statement of our belief that none of this really matters. I hadn't seen it that way, but I had to laugh, because that is how we entered homeschooling. Wanting our kids to be the best people they could be, regardless of what they knew or had accomplished. Wanting to give them a love of learning, not just a set of facts memorized and quickly forgotten. Not a host of painful school memories, but a family they know they can turn to, and be loved unconditionally. These are all very lofty goals. I am not sure we accomplished them. But I think what I will choose to remember from this past week and this past 17 years is the certificate of appreciation our son gave us during the ceremony and his beautiful smile. Life is good. Life is indeed good...
