Love, Art, Life

Love, Art, Life

Monday, July 25, 2011

Back from Boston




Recently I had the opportunity to take a trip on my own, to Boston for my sister's graduation.   I've been back about a week now, back into "Mom" mode, and out of "me" mode.  It was a very nice time while it lasted.  I had time to draw, time to think, time to sleep.  Time to do anything I wanted.  It's been about 18 years since I've had that.

Lil Gee had some adventures while we were there.  You can read about them here: Lil Gees Adventures, the blog


So while I was there  I had a chance to re-read Codependent No More by Melody Beattie.  An excellent book I read about 20 years ago, and have since learned that I need to read it again.  These are some pictures of my art journal pages done in Boston.  A lot of the writing is quotes from Codependent No More.  It is a constant struggle for me to put myself on my own list.  That's where my adventures in art have re-surfaced.  As a healing tool.  A learning tool.  A growing tool.  Art is a way of expressing myself, and learning and growing through visually working out what's going on.

I have always been a journaler.  And I believe journaling really helps.  My art journal combines the two.  Some art and a little bit of journaling.  Sometimes I still write poetry and prose, and those are included in my art journal too.

One thing I learned while in Boston.  We all need time of our own.  Time to think.  Time to re-charge.  I know, I know, you hear that all the time now.  It's everywhere I look anyway, I imagine it's the same for you.  All I know is I had some time of my own, and I came back refreshed.  With a whole new attitude, and outlook.  If you havn't tried it I highly recommend it.   Year after year I knew this was one thing I needed, but could never justify taking it.  Now that I have I can see more of this in my future.  It is hard to be all things to all the people and pets in my life at all times.  I learned that sometimes I 've just got to take time to be me.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

The Circle of Life

Can you hear it?  The song from The Lion King.  Today, just today I was thinking that I hadn't blogged for a while, and had nothing to blog about.  I needed ideas.  something to say.  Anything.  My wise husband told me to just wait and blog about life.  So I took a nap, and read some books.  At dinnertime he calls me over to the kitchen window saying move slowly and come now.  These words always send a chill down my spine.  It causes a stress reaction in me, as I have this tendency to think the other shoe is going to drop soon.  

I creep over to the kitchen window and assure myself that all the kids are inside, so it can't be them.  Oh no! The ducks, the chickens, whom I love so much?  I get to the window and see this.....



Not an unfamiliar sight in our backyard.  We attract many birds with all the wildlife, and the sanctuary of the trees and the overgrown edges.  The compost makes a great place for waiting for bugs to appear, and there are many soft, warm duck feathers for lining ones nest.  I got my camera, as I always do when viewing the wild kingdom in our own backyard, but through the viewfinder I could see more clearly than with my eyes unaided.  What on earth was the hawk holding? 

At first I thought it was the collar on the leash to the boogie board it was sitting on, but I moved the camera away for a second and oh- there the end of the leash was- on the ground.  Nowhere near this hawk and his deadly talons. 

  I zoom in for a closer look.
He has something?!  What is it? 


sadness....

this is sadly not the first time I feel an accomplice to luring a poor harmless sparrow to its death...  the neighborhood cats used to come and lay in wait for the birds who dared perch too long on our compost enclosure.  My lovely duckies have scared all them away.  I have also seen hawks swoop down and grab sparrows mid-air who were coming to and from our bird feeders.   Ohhh and then there was the time....  My kids and I were sitting on the porch enjoying the view of some sparrows trying to encourage a baby sparrow to fly.  I had landed in the street and was sort of hopping around.  It hopped under a car and hid which I was glad for, one never knows what dangers lurk.  Out he hops, cautiously;  seeing this I tell the kids, "oh look, there he i.....s....."  

yep.  A crow.  A crow swooped down and grabbed the poor little thing.  It never had a chance.  I had seen the crows stealing eggs from some of the nests in the trees in our backyard, but this?  This was too much.  I was in shock, and my kids were very upset.   Not sure if they've gotten over their distrust of crows yet.

"it's the circle of life" my husband says......   the circle of life....

I know this, and yet-  I feel sad.  I guess the hawks gotta eat too, but can't they find another yard to target?  Maybe someone who doesn't like birds?  Or animals in general??  Am I guilty?  Did I lure the helpless swallow to his death?   

This hawk sat there for what seemed like ages with one eye on us, and one on the ducks who were also watching it.  I wondered where the chickens were? 


 I decided to go see, and the dog barking scared off the hawk with it's prey into a tree.  I really hope it's not nesting there, in my tree.  Right above the chicken coop and the compost...  













 I step outside and my sweet chickens come running, as they do.  Out of hiding.  The ducks start quacking, as they do, beckoning me to come and visit with them, or possibly asking what the heck was that??  Who knows.





I count the chickens and take notice of the fact that the ducks had been standing near the hawk, but in between it and the chickens hiding place.  I wonder...  






I also wonder if that's why the hawk sat for a while, and stayed so long.  

 I have noticed that the ducks will come over and eye the bunny every morning as she comes and greets me and I squat and pet her sometimes for half an hour enjoying the company.  

They look curiously on, probably wondering why she is not afraid.  I can tell this because they look at me, then down at her, then back to me.  "I am nice,"  I reassure them.  "I am not here to hurt you." (Yes, I tend to speak with all living things, and sometimes seemingly 'inanimate objects'. )  I reach out and sometimes the bigger one who has always been braver allows me to pet him.  They both have taken to waddling around behind me and chew on my clothes, or sometimes my leg or arm.  I look into their eyes and hope they see that I would never harm them.  

Then there is the circle of life....  Life can be so strange sometimes....   The hawk is beautiful.  All hawks are...


I need to somehow reconcile myself with this.  There is a time for life, and a time for death.  Especially if you are lower and lower on the food chain...